in these new clothes i feel naked

when did i decide to let down some of my walls? and why now?
i bought a school girl costume. something i normaly hate.
i dyed my hair red. and in the process i killed the lucky charms watch.
my identity is gone. i feel naked.

modest mouse made my soul happy, if only for a few hours. but i couldnt help but cry when they played little motel. it was my last big thing with a chick who proved to be the best chick friend ive ever had. and shes going away.(story of my life)

i once was happy. i once had him there. when shit hit the fan i ran to him, and in this past month hes been nothing but the scum i ran from in the first place. thanks ed. i never thought this from you.


[i broke apart my insides]
my intestines thing is still realy bad. aparently if it was the birth control it would have stopped by now, but the bleeding still is bad, the cramps suck and im an emo wreck.[help me]
i have doctors visits planed and an excuse to leave work early.