fuck summer, i want september to be here

summer is typically the most stress full time for me. and for the worst reasons.
i decide to have fun, so i spend a ton of money on concerts, and now with my car, i plot them further and further away. typical scenario is this-

website- "katatonia is playing the US"
me- NEED TO GO
jason- yea closest show is in phili, which is 5 hours away
me- WE NEED TO GO
jason- its gonna require either all night driving, or a hotel room, and 2 tanks of gas
me- WE NEED TO GO

so then i go to mom with a fist full of money to order tickets to said show, and almost always she finds either amazing seats or VIP something or other, it almost always costs me at least double what i plan, and yet i cant help myself. i need to be as close as i can, i cant just feel the music, i need to be in the music, i need to touch the band, i need them to know how much i love the lyrics and just how far ive traveled to see them. recently its been bands who speak little broken english, and im ok with this.

so instead of $17 for a ticket i find myself paying $45 plus fees for a signed poster, a hug, and a feeling of accomplishment.

add into this about $100 in gas, more money on food, and various other expenses that pop up and my summer is one big pbj fueled anxiety attack.

but its worth it.

the show i detailed above is on a whole different level from the shows i have done in the past few months and even mondays rochester trip. its hard to explain.

i fell in love with this band right around the time jason and i were really moving past that "2 months into a relationship omg this could be a real lasting relationship" thing, and when i told him i liked them his response was "yea good luck with that, they dont tour the US" so BAM instant thought of never gonna see them. same with NIN, i didnt think id ever see them, tickets sell too fast, i didnt have people to take me, that stuff.
then one day i got tickets to see NIN, 4 months in advance, and the wait was almost unbearable. yea, ive had these tickets for a month, and its not till september, and im feeling exactly like i did when i was waiting for NIN.
each day filed with listening to the music, and happy thoughts of a great show, and a few days in phili with my jerkasaur.


this is what i live for. and when all the anxiety over money hits, i will always have the happy times and they are worth it. one rockstar hug is worth working 32 hours a week and not sleeping when im nervous.