realizations through sam

talking to sam again more often now, has recently brought some tough realizations.

i am not happy. if you were good for me, i would not be crying.

i give up so much for you, pay so much money, only to be treated this way? sam sees it and he tells me how it looks from his view point while we were at roji. im expected to cover the movie when its a strain for you to cover my tea? its a strain on you to think of anyone but yourself.

next fall if all goes right i will be heading to AZ to try school again, i am giving myself one semester to try, if it works, ill stay, but at least i can try, a change in scenery, away from all the people and distractions here, away from having to work full time while going to school, what it means for us? i dont think its anything good, but im no longer concerned about you, im focused on me.


for once in my life, im concerned about me.