ben barnett owns a chunk of my sanity

kind of like spitting always causes me to want to write. i dont know why. its weird, but oh well, ive neglected this thing long enough that a doubble post seems like its ok. i still miss morning tea/coco with you btw. you own a chunk of my sanity as well.

i cant wrap my head around the fact that its been a year. something i didnt think would happen, happens then i didnt think it would last more than a few months. in my head he was destined to be one of the great let downs of my life and probably the last straw in what was the worst few years of my mental health.

but it didnt happen....
hes still here....
every week i wake up with him next to me.

for the first time in many years, i can say at this moment in NY im happy.



NIN felt werid with ed, maybe because mike wasnt there. i need to put that picture on my wall i think. the one of me mike and jeremy before NIN in saratoga. the rare picture of me actualy happy.

blogging for the sake of blogs

i remembered i never actualy bloged about the NIN show. guess thats the way my head has been.

ed and i drove 6 hours to a place right outside of boston, to stay with jeremy. i forgot how much i missed him. i had warned ed about how insane NIN shows are and how crazy jeremy and i are when it comes to seeing them, i dont think he fully realized till after the show how bad it is.
our seats were high enough that we needed oxygen masks but it was all good. this tour is one where its actualy better to have shit seats than to be in the pit. such amazing visuals.
peter murphy came out and sang reptile. amazing. ghosts version of piggy- even better. trent going from the frail straight into closer instead of going in to the wretched, then wish like usual.

tomorow jason and i are going out to dinner to celebrate one year of being together. kinda dosent seem like a year.

my guts, they hate me

so ups and downs, and infected guts

down- kristas brother sold our alice tickets on us, fucking pissed.

i got blood drawn and they shut down a vein in my arm

ups- i passed my road test




huzzah