frustrated

i realy wish i knew what i wanted from life. this drifting thing is no fun. everyone is starting school and i feel like i should be too. maybe i should have kept that geo course, and found SOME way to pay for it. then i wouldnt feel like im wasting space and time. im gonna try to save so i can go next semester. people have been telling me not to worry too much because what college realy ends up teaching you is how to survive in the real world on your own and ive managed to do that on my own.
i got used to summer. the constant schedule of mon, tues, wed off and one of those nights always being jason time. always a sleep over. always the comfort of cuddles and good long talks and barrier breaking. it was good and ill miss the frequency of it. ill get used to it like i did last time.

i managed to hit the fair 5 days in a row. despite a hostage like situation due to people pissing me off and me shutting down completly emotionaly, it was fun. i got the pick from mr needles, and tommys drum stick as well as joan jetts set list.

what scared me was my lack of ambition to get anything signed when tommy and the bassist came out to sign stuff. this is how i know my head is broken again.



i spent the night/day vomiting. so much so that i called in. i hate calling in. but my head hurt too much.