this is worse than "soon" mr reznor

.... after 2009 no more tour?








we got a sad kt right now....

this is why we cant have nice things

with this whole economy down the shitter thing, ive discovered that banks have become worse.

stupid hotel - didnt take the $50 deposit out of my room rate, over drafted my account, and in turn made me over draft for a dvd at sound garden.

somewhere in the mix of this and not letting me know for 10 days, i end up with $200 in fees

so my days off which should be spent with jason, in bed watching movies and snuggling happy have been spent yelling at banks, checking back with mom for the reccord, and calling the hotel.

instead of paying the fees, the hotel tried to get the bank to reverse them, they wouldnt.
bank calls me, sais i need to pay
called hotel- they try again, call me and say they will pay

tomorow when i call the bank, it all better be straightened out. the bank better have recieved the money into my account. in which case, im closing that account.



im gonna save money the conspiracy theorist way, in my mattress.




on top of all this, ive been hearing insurance quotes, and other such things i need to get figured out so i can drive. i have the license, i have the car, i just need the papers.







if my head does not explode tomorow, ill consider it a good nap day.

crazy things happen

i got a car. a 2000 altima, it was mikes brothers.



NO MORE BUS!

ben barnett owns a chunk of my sanity

kind of like spitting always causes me to want to write. i dont know why. its weird, but oh well, ive neglected this thing long enough that a doubble post seems like its ok. i still miss morning tea/coco with you btw. you own a chunk of my sanity as well.

i cant wrap my head around the fact that its been a year. something i didnt think would happen, happens then i didnt think it would last more than a few months. in my head he was destined to be one of the great let downs of my life and probably the last straw in what was the worst few years of my mental health.

but it didnt happen....
hes still here....
every week i wake up with him next to me.

for the first time in many years, i can say at this moment in NY im happy.



NIN felt werid with ed, maybe because mike wasnt there. i need to put that picture on my wall i think. the one of me mike and jeremy before NIN in saratoga. the rare picture of me actualy happy.

blogging for the sake of blogs

i remembered i never actualy bloged about the NIN show. guess thats the way my head has been.

ed and i drove 6 hours to a place right outside of boston, to stay with jeremy. i forgot how much i missed him. i had warned ed about how insane NIN shows are and how crazy jeremy and i are when it comes to seeing them, i dont think he fully realized till after the show how bad it is.
our seats were high enough that we needed oxygen masks but it was all good. this tour is one where its actualy better to have shit seats than to be in the pit. such amazing visuals.
peter murphy came out and sang reptile. amazing. ghosts version of piggy- even better. trent going from the frail straight into closer instead of going in to the wretched, then wish like usual.

tomorow jason and i are going out to dinner to celebrate one year of being together. kinda dosent seem like a year.

my guts, they hate me

so ups and downs, and infected guts

down- kristas brother sold our alice tickets on us, fucking pissed.

i got blood drawn and they shut down a vein in my arm

ups- i passed my road test




huzzah

oh man

the past month has been insane. btwn concert issues (mess with my NIN and i flip shit) and birthdays that end in emergancy rooms, lots has happened and will happen.

i bailed on cake due to the guy not getting back to me in time.

my birthday was fun. i drank. i drank alot. and then, i threw up some blood. i texted jason who bitched at me to call mom, ended up in the ER the morning after my party. when i left the ER my room mate louis was going in, which made mom question my party.

tom bailed on NIN. i freaked out, i got angry. then ed came to my rescue. hes coming with me now and its gonna be a good adventure.

i have alice cooper tickets for october 28th with a girl from work. should be lots of fun.

paint ball on the 26th followed by sonic boom six show, im gonna be an abused fairy thanks to the welts ill get from paint ball



btw- i have ulcers in my stomach which were iritated by my anxiety and steroids im on for my intestines. mix that with the rum i was drinking and i throw up a ton of blood.
also today i woke up to jason telling me i have a fever. i have a sinus issue which made me feel like shit all day.


there, updated